You Can't Always Get What You Want....

   Jealousy.  I wish I could say that I have a controversial stance that I could take... but I don't.  None the less, lets talk a bit about it and wrap it up.

   This is a subject that I wrestle with, though recently I have gotten a little better at it.  Since I work on the lower end of the pay grade in medical I have naturally gained a number of friends that have far more means than I do.  It has always frustrated me to see what they can get and what I can't.  The trouble is, and I am now starting to see this, those things aren't making them happy.  They get so riled up in the pursuit of what they don't have that they forget to enjoy what they do.  I know one guy, a great friend all in all, that works himself to death so he can change his life.  He could honestly afford to do so without killing himself but that need for stuff won't let him lower his lifestyle and enjoy his opportunities.  I know another that tries to run away all the time, avoiding responsibilities while spending way too much time in the bottom of a bottle.  All because he has let the need for success override his need for contentment.  Now with some clarity it is easy to see why that life is dangerous.

   Andy Stanley wrote that we should celebrate others to cure jealousy.  When I read it I decided to put it to the test and he is right.  When you make a conscious and concerted effort to congratulate people on their successes it takes the fire out of your envy.  I was really amazed at how well it works.  I'm not perfect, mind you, and that guy who is driving my Ford Raptor around town gets to me now and then but the simple act of telling someone that you are impressed with their accomplishments is such a great tool in moving forward.  You can't love your neighbor and hate them for what they have all at the same time.  To truly love you have to be happy for one another when fortune strikes.  What it all comes down to is enjoying what is already here and trusting that God will give you the opportunities that you need, even though that might not be the ones you want.

Not what I expected, tithing and the poor family

   This weeks sermon was on greed, from Andy Stanley's book Enemies of the Heart.  From talking to my wife and other church members I think it didn't come across right, however.  I hate to say it but church left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth this week, and I wasn't alone.  The message to give is important and a strong one but when it is virtually demanded that you tithe before you pay your power bill, I have trouble getting behind that.  Times have changed, I'm afraid, and this is something that is struggling to adapt.
  
   I write this blog, which is my version of ministry.  I love it and the responses I get from people.  I will admit that I get excited when I see that people read it and even more so when they comment.  I feel that this is how God is telling me to make an impact on the world.  However, I don't ask for money.  I have thought about monetizing but I haven't.  It just doesn't feel right to try and live on God's word.  I have a job, it pays my bills and a little more now and then but I am hardly much above the poverty line.  A full 10% would cripple my family and what I am trying to do for couples outside of this blog. 

   Contextually tithing came as a way for the Levite clan to have an inheritance, which they were not given by God.  In exchange for taking care of the Tabernacle they were to receive 1/10 of the crops and animals raised by the other Jews.  I am over simplifying that a bit, but you get the idea.  Today, there are so many ways to raise money that I have to wonder if a traditional tithe is even necessary anymore.  I firmly believe in serving the church and making sure they can pay their bills and such, but I can't do it by sacrificing my families security in the process.  The church is supposed to be generous as well.  I don't see them paying our bills, I don't see them supporting the widow when her husband dies.  I found that more than a bit irritating. 

  Do I think you shouldn't give?  No, absolutely not.  I think you should give with all your heart, but when is it time to receive?  I was told to trust in God and he will take care of me and I suppose that is true.  However, I am trusting in God when He tells me that I can't sacrifice my room and board to satisfy an ancient tradition.  I spent well over ten percent of my salary this last check on biblical things.  I bought a new book to help with our "couples" outreach to help young and old relationships find God together.  I bought Kat a new audio version of the NIV Bible.  I bought Alex a new book of Bible stories.  All of this things I have acquired to help spread the Word of God in the ways he tells me.  The fact that I still managed to find twenty bucks for the offering plate I think is commendable.  It could actually mean me not eating breakfast or lunch this week, but now I feel like I am being asked for more.  I hope this is a trend that isn't going to continue as I don't feel like this is God's work. 

Greedy Little Hobbit-ses.

   So tonight is small group for Kat and I.  Usually we reflect on the last sermon but since last week was Resurrection Day service I am not sure if we will be going over that or looking forward to this weeks sermon which I assume to be on the chapter about greed from Enemies of the Heart.  Greed was an interesting chapter for me, one which I thought would really hit home.  However, as Andy Stanley describes it, I don't have as much trouble with it as I thought.  What I always equated to greed he describes as jealousy and that is an issue that plagues me.  Since next Sunday's sermon will likely address that I will wait and write about it next week. 
  
   Of course, I am hardly immune to greed.  I find myself scoffing at giving and tithing rankles me a bit.  However, I am overcoming that.  I came from a fairly poor family where there were times that even eating was a serious issue.  As a result I have found myself wanting to cling on to the things I have more than I should, I suppose.  At this time in my life it is doubly hard because I don't make stunning amounts of money and I am trying to support a family while putting my wife through college.  There are times that I would love to give more but I can't find the cash to do so.  I know I am hardly alone there either.

   Since I have financial trouble I decided to donate my time instead of my money and I think that is a good substitute for all those of you who are in the same boat as my family.  Since I am new to the whole Christianity world I am still seeking my place where I can help out best but I think that this blog is my first step into that world.  It really isn't much but it is just a start.  I know I want to try my hand at some missionary work in the future but it is likely going to have to wait until Kat graduates.  For now I am going to dedicate myself to study and writing, trying to share some of the inspiration that I am getting from the Bible and hopefully I can light the way for others to follow.  If nothing else, perhaps I can ease the struggles of someone else life, even if it is slightly.

   Thank you for reading everyone, if you like what I'm trying to do please mention my blog or post it on Facebook.  Also clicking "+1+ helps me to get a pressence on Google, which is always nice.  God Bless everyone!